People Share Signs That Are Absolutely Unhinged and We Can’t Help But Laugh

This article was originally published on Travellergazette.com

We are inundated with signs, advertisements, and commercials everywhere we turn. Some experts estimate that the average American sees upwards of 10,000 ads a day. That’s a lot of signage! Thankfully, not all signs are trying to sell you something. There are some hidden gems among all the noise that help brighten our day and make us laugh. Of course, there’s a Facebook group called Absurd Signs dedicated to the most hilarious signs found out in the wild. These photos are sure to put a smile on your face and break up the monotony of boring ads and informative plaques that we see every day of our lives.

#1: No Shrinkage Here!

This Subway decided to give up and just put the most unhinged message on their signboard one winter. It reads, “Our subs are six inches even when it’s cold outside.” Oh my! This store’s manager must have been on vacation because there’s no way corporate would have approved this message.

At least it’s true, right? A Subway six-inch sub will always and forever be six inches. Until you eat it. Other people’s six-inchers? Not so much. There’s no shame in that, but it’s not really a fair comparison. Have no idea what we’re talking about? Bless your innocent heart and soul.

#2: Choking Hazard

Alligators are pretty scary and deadly creatures. It seems obvious, but people should not go swimming in water where alligators are known to live. They will totally chew you up and spit you back out without a second thought. However, the existence of this sign tells us that more than a few people have no idea how dangerous alligators can be. 

We’re guessing people kept diving into this watering hole despite the constant warnings from officials. So, they decided to get graphic. Guess what? If you go swimming, you’ll be giving the local alligators a yummy snack of arms and legs. If asking nicely doesn’t work, fear tactics are a nice approach.

#3: Long Live Kevin Bacon

Every town has that one business that always has the best signs. Berger Auto Service in Fort Wayne, Indiana, is one of those gems of a business. Someone snapped a photo of this creative sign that reads, “25 years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now, no cash, hope, or jobs. Please God, don’t let Kevin Bacon die.”

Truer words have never been spoken, Berger Auto Service. If Kevin Bacon passes on anytime soon, we don’t think we’ll be able to cope. Bacon is one of the last few joys left in life, especially in this economy. We have to find the moments of happiness whereever and whenever we can. 

#4: All Day? No Way!

This poor Chinese restaurant has seen some things if this is the kind of permanent sign they have on their window. They were driven to the point of having to clarify that an “all you can eat” buffet does not mean that customers can stay and eat all day long. Yikes. Did they really get customers who tried to stay for four hours and multiple meals?

An “all-you-can-eat” buffet is already pretty generous. Customers shouldn’t be trying to cheat the system in order to get even more food. Whatever happened to taking home leftovers? Our favorite line of this sign is, “You eat– you go home.” Ain’t that the truth! No one likes a moocher.